The Hem to End All Hems

11 Sep

I was watching an episode of Ally McBeal on Netflix streaming, where Richard’s uncle died, and they have to go to a judge because the church won’t let Richard talk about his uncle’s hatred for short people at the funeral. They win, and, at the funeral, the chorus breaks into song – Randy Newman’s “Short People.” The song states, “Short people got no reason to live,” one of the reasons being “they got little baby legs, that stand so low.”

It’s true. Short people have it hard. Can’t dunk no basketball, can’t reach the top shelves, can’t see anything at concerts.

Plus, they always have to hem up their pants. Being short my entire life, I feel lucky to have recently found this great way to hem jeans relatively early in life. The website says this is how tailors do it. By basically folding the excess fabric inside the pant leg, there is no cutting necessary if you don’t want to. The original hem remains but at the perfect length for you. And, you can leave the excess fabric in case you get taller — not likely in my case.

Hemmed jeans

Hemmed jeans

Hemming is pretty boring, so here’s the fun “Short People” song instead:


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